3 Bad Habits That Are Preventing Your Success & Stealing Your Joy + How To Overcome Them
Hey, Beauty! Around 3 years ago I took off on a lifelong journey of self-development and bettering myself. I invested (and still investing) lots of time, money and effort in becoming the best ME possible and this is one of the most rewarding things in the world. Seriously, you should try it!
Along the way I learned a thing or two (more like thousand) about the power of our subconscious mind. The right mindset is crucial in pretty much every aspect of our lives and I am eager to share with you what I know.
Today I want to talk about 3 of the biggest buzz killers which steal your joy, drain your energy and prevent you from greatness. I am sure you can relate to at least one of them, if not to all.
So let’s get started and bust those vibe buggers, shall we? >Insert epic music here<
Comparing Yourself To Others
Yes, I know we all do it. And we all need to stop doing it… like NOW! But, I also know that this is nearly impossible. So at least we could do some damage control.
Comparison is the scourge of our generation. Social media made this just too easy for us and we didn’t even put up a fight. Instagram is filled with millennials with beach perfect bodies and their lavish lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with this of course, if we use those images to fuel our own motivation and desire for success. After all if they can do it, you can do it as well and I believe wholeheartedly in that.
However it is very easy to fall in the trap of comparing yourself to those people in a negative way. In a way that makes you feel depressed and unaccomplished instead of being inspired and ready to conquer the world.
We all have our favorite Instagramer, who is sipping margaritas on the beach, while you are wondering for how long you can pull up your life together, before going totally nuts.
Yeah, I know! Been there, done that! Not a great feeling at all!
So, let me tell you something! Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time, waste of energy and most importantly waist of YOU. You are unique and perfect in your own way - with all your quirks, with all your perceived “flaws” and yes, even with your silly jokes, only your BFFs laugh at.
As Marie Forleo often says
If you don’t know who Marie Forleo is, just Google her and check her out - she is the Bomb.Com
I believe we are all set up on the fact that comparing ourself with others (in a negative way) is utterly useless and destructive. Now how to overcome it or at least bring it to the bare minimum…
1. First and foremost be aware that you compare yourself with others. We are so used to it that most of the time we don’t even realize it when we are doing it. Be mindful of your selftalk and always keep it positive. Talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend.
2. Celebrate yourself - daily! Focus on the things you like about yourself and remind yourself how awesome you are. Great way to boost your confidence is to create lists of your accomplishments, achievements, features that you like in yourself. Then stick those lists somewhere you can see them daily.
3. It’s not all real. Remember that you only see an edited fraction of the lives of others. We are all humans, we all have our bad days, we all have struggles and battles no one knows about. Just because something looks perfect, doesn’t mean it actually is. Don’t pressure yourself to attain an impossible standard. Enjoy your life, be grateful for all you have, while going after your dreams… and who knows! Maybe there is someone else out there thinking your life is perfect and wanting to be just like you. Inspire and be inspired!
Some of you may wonder how exactly being a perfectionist can ruin your chances for success. After all this is considered as a positive quality. Well, yes and no!
I am a hard core Virgo, so I am well aware of what if feels like to be a perfectionist. It is a blessing and a curse all the same time. Striving for the best results possible is amazing quality to have, but self - criticism can easily take its toll on you. Add to the mixture overthinking and analyzing every little detail for hours and days and you have the perfect recipe for non - productivity.
My high standards and desire for perfection were stopping me from doing so many things in the past and were preventing my growth big time.
My blog wasn't perfect (still isn’t), so I won’t launch it until it is!
My English is not perfect (I am not a native speaker), so I won’t express myself in writings!
My photos are not the way I want them to be, so I won’t upload any until I get them right!
Well guess what I’ve realized! Things will never, I repeat NEVER, be perfect! They can improve, they can get better, but they will never be perfect - because you will raise the bar as you grow!
However, the only way to grow and get better is to do the damn thing. Which by the way is ultimately related to the next buzz killer - waiting for the right time. But we’ll get there in a minute.
1. Always give 100% of your self and understand that this won’t always look the same. I adopted this philosophy years ago from the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (highly recommend it). That’s the fourth principle in the book, which states to ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST in the given moment with what you have available right now.
You will not always perform the same way - you will have good days, bad days, you will improve and learn over time. As long as you always give 100% of your capabilities in the moment, however you will be free from regrets, stress and self-criticism. You will just know that you did your best and when you know better, you’ll do better.
This helped me tremendously to overcome the negative side of my perfectionism and although I still have my bad days I can easily get back on track, reminding myself the fourth agreement.
2. Know that you are enough - right here, right now as you are. There is nothing wrong to strive for becoming a better person, but it is important to be happy and content with who you are along the way. Appreciate yourself and enjoy the journey of becoming the best YOU possible.
Waiting For The Right Time
The last in my list is probably the most dangerous of all, because… Let me drop a TRUTH BOMB here!
The right time will never come! Like NEVER ever! There is no such thing as “the right time”! Trust me, I’ve been in this trap for years and I still fall for it from time to time.
Whatever you want to do in your life - start right now. The conditions will never be better, you won’t have more time in the future and if you put your mind and heart into your goal the money will come to you. But you have to take the first step, otherwise years will pass by and you’ll still be sitting on your couch wondering how your life would look like if you actually did the thing that you want so badly.
And if you are perfectionist like me you will probably have a giant lump in your throat, only from the thought of releasing something to the world, that it’s not polished to the tee... But honey, it’s way better to have something that you can improve along the way, rather than one big perfect giant nothingness. Now tell me I ain’t right!
1. Divide & Conquer. You can easily get overwhelmed by having a huge goal in front of you that seems unattainable. I personally find it very helpful to break down my goals on subcategories and then divide them in small easy steps. This helps me to stay sane, organized and to focus on one thing at the time.
2. Baby steps count. When you want to do something big or to significantly change your lifestyle you should know that it won’t happen over night. Small steps in the right directions are better than no steps. Plus, I will say it once again - get in the habit of celebrating yourself daily. Focus on your wins and how far you’ve come. This will keep you motivated and inspired to achieve more.
Well, that’s it for now! I can go on like this for ages since this is something I am very passionate about.
So if you have any questions or you want to see more posts like this in the future, let me know in the comments below.
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